Where the Right Women At?

It's complicated

When I talk to my male friends about their love lives, the conversation almost always begins and ends with the same sentiment: there are no like-minded women out there for me.

The men I’m talking about self-identify as conservative. These guys don’t want to literally raze the regime, but they also recognize that, maybe, it needs some razing. With regard to the problems they face in the dating pool, they aren’t wrong.

The unavailability of right-wing women comes down to two problems. Modern women aren’t into conservatives, and conservatives aren’t into modern women.

The Landscape

Psychologically, women score higher in the “Big Five” personality trait “agreeableness” than men do. The dominant culture being so intensely liberal, it follows that women, as natural conformists, are generally feminists and racialists by default now. Social cohesion demands they post the black square on Instagram, so they do; nevermind that the stated mission of the organization to which they submit is to destroy marriage, which, despite everything, most of them still want. Conservative men think themselves out of the dating pool when, unable to tolerate contemporary illogic, they come out explicitly as “conservative,” which is coded as “untouchable wrongthinker” in the female mind.

Of course, it isn’t simply that the women don’t want to date a Trump voter. There’s really something to the resounding message of early 2010s pickup artist blogs: the kind of woman our society produces is generally quite unpleasant. The political has become personal: relentless feminist indoctrination from an early age has convinced many millennial women that to be sexually and professionally dominant is ideal. Most women are living up to societal expectations, and destroying their own mental health, ability to pair-bond, and procreate in the process.

This is the basic landscape of dating in Hell World 2021, and most people in their courtship years are lonely, depressed, and frustrated by the whole thing. In seeking their political mirror image in women, conservative men see no one. In calling themselves conservative, no one seeks them. So, what can be done?

Build Your Own Dominance Hierarchy (Seriously)

This is a general point, but it applies to the world of romance as potently as to the world of policy. Men of the Right must get beyond the political framing wrapped up in the word “conservative.” “Conservative” is a loser’s position implicitly subject to the same feminine, neoliberal world order that will never permit its adherents to thrive. The label is vacuous: it opposes as much as it conserves, which is nothing. The desire to make explicit one’s political opinions by branding oneself in this way is a womanly stance, in that it accomplishes nothing real while seeking abstract validation.

Besides, what is left to conserve? 

An implicit spiritual nationalism would take men much further in life and love without requiring them to explain their positions to women. Men must become the leaders on a personal and cultural level that they wish to see in the world, and should stop talking to women about politics in the way that most people understand politics (look what Nancy Pelosi said, etc). The men I’m talking to and about must turn their focus instead to the concrete aspects of life. Be builders. Build your body, your home, your garden, new networks, and business.

Women will inhabit the spaces that men build. By the same token, they will burn down a dilapidated house with you in it, especially if your only response to the crumbling walls is to whine, “Look at these crumbling walls! Imagine if our termites infested the neighbor’s house. Their walls would crumble harder.” Conservatives are the guys screaming at the crumbling walls. Parasites are more appealing by comparison.

If you actually start building a local world with high standards and natural hierarchies that you don’t have to languish at the bottom of, you will strengthen yourself spiritually, socially, and physically. This is what women want. Dispense with weak labels. Just like the GOP, they do nothing for you and are repulsive to girls.

To be clear, this isn’t about changing in order to gain liberal women’s approval. It is about abandoning the need for validation, so central to the “conservative” project itself. 

Be Convincing

The first answer will for the most part address the problem of conservative men repelling the fairer sex. What, then, about the rather unfair ugliness of modern females? What on earth does male behavior have to do with that?

Waking up is hard to do, and many who take the Red Pill on intersexual relations, in traveling down that Internet rabbit hole, are tempted by a real and vicious resentment of women, and advocate that if a woman can be played, or has been in the past, that she deserves the worst you can offer. 

As hopeless as the state of modern women may seem, this equally ugly position is a diversion from the project of building. The fact is, an authentic national revival is impossible without women and, for better or worse, what’s in front of you is what you have to work with. 

So, again, we must transcend the superficial political order. The woman you’re looking for probably isn’t a tattoo-free, debt-free virgin, and she probably isn’t a policy wonk, either. That is to say, she may not be precisely like-minded. She may have some baggage. She may accept politically what her friends and employers compel her to. That’s actually probably okay for now, so long as the following is true. The real signal of a woman with the capacity to submit to a mission against the modern world is not political—it’s a vibe. Cultivate the eye for the Eternal Feminine (sweetness, softness, warmth, playfulness) above all. The true enemy of modernity is this essential, transcendent kindness, loveliness, and grace—not necessarily a shrewd financial sense. Of course, be prudent. Sexual and financial history matters. But do not be so prudent that you disqualify everyone with a past. Never forget that redemption and reconciliation is available to us all. Practically speaking, if you are building something good, she will follow, and eventually be convinced of the rest.

The only hope for women, socially submissive creatures, to recover en masse from the quiet tragedy of the modern world, is for men to seriously strike out on their own from the system that rewards women for dominating them. By freeing themselves from the oppressive bourgeois expectations of normie political life, men free women in turn to become who they are. This will be a self-evident reward in itself. In other words, it will become an attractive choice to the right women.

Building something new is an uphill battle, and detangling our minds, bodies, and souls from the old will be a counterintuitive journey for many. We all have much to unlearn. But in the end, the world belongs to those who out-procreate their enemies. Men of the Right: lead with love, and let romance be radical.

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Helen Roy is a contributing editor to The American Mind and American Mindset.